Ninety-nine percent true, one percent of the time.
| Volume 1 Issue 2 | Tuesday, May 15, 2012 | 2 Cents |
Sun Drop's Dark Secret Revealed!
| Volume 1 Issue 2 | Tuesday, May 15, 2012 | 2 Cents |
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By Name Withheld  Sun Drop Logo Consumers are rejoicing at the thought of a neon piss colored carbonated drink with the caffeine content of almost 2 Cokes. The idea of getting an under powered energy drink for the cost of mere soda entices them. But what is the secret to Dr. Pepper's new hit? If you took a second to not spit it out after sipping it, the answer will not surprise you. The Sun Drop name is not new and gave that Mountain Dew style disgusting taste for the older set. Known as “Golden Shower Cola” and “Oww, The Sun, It Burns My Eyes Drop”, the eighty year old drink has confused and excited people the world over. For a second, many thought that Sun Drop had ridden off into the sunset to be with its own kind, however, the Drop has bounced back in an incredible fashion. As people glug that sludge, they squint and breathlessly ask, “But what is in this? My God, what is that taste?!” After careful research and fact finding, the secret recipe has been revealed. A Cadbury insider fired from the company, after adding his own Sun Drop to the morning coffee, has spilled the beans.
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During the early 2000s, Cadbury visited several rural spots around the country looking for that perfect mix of right and ripe to revolutionize the Drop experience. They came across it at a Texaco near Battle Mountain, Nevada. A bright green glass bottle with no label caught their eye. After a well-executed spit take, the rep knew he had the next Dew Drop on his hands. After a sad arm wrestling fiasco, the shop owner brought out a crate of the greengasmic gruel. The label had all their jaws drop at the same time...it was stale early 1990s Sprite. Throwing caution to the wind, the Cadbury execs searched every back water hick town to clear them out of their vintage soda gold. Back at headquarters, the lab rats were working ambitiously trying to get the right combination of caffeine, carbonation, and lemon crud with the Sprite base. After 3 years of tireless trial and error as well as several settled lawsuits with the families of deceased taste testers, the new and improved Sun Drop hit the shelves. And it is a success! Now that you have uncovered the truth, you are sworn to secrecy. Do not let this information get to Coca Cola or it could spell doom for those cute little Cadbury bunnies. You are asked to burn this article after reading, and then eat the remnants. (The writer of this piece was subsequently fired after the publishing of this article.) Comments  True Origins Revealed? 
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